This week’s edition of JCC State of Mind was written by Rabbi Hindy Finman, Senior Director of Jewish Life
This past year, JCC Association of North America partnered with the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies to offer JCC staff the opportunity to take Makhloket Matters – an eight-week course on approaching conflict and difficult conversations through a Jewish lens.
Participants learned that our tradition doesn’t simply tolerate disagreement but rather encourages and even sometimes celebrates it. Judaism teaches that what matters most is how we argue and why. Am I trying to push my ideas as facts upon someone else or am I genuinely curious about learning from them and appreciating our differences? Am I challenging leadership out of ego or jealousy or because I see something of concern and need to stand up and speak out?
These powerful questions inspired our own four-part JCC series, Holy Disagreements, where we explored classic texts and real-life parallels. We studied Hillel and Shammai, Talmudic contemporaries who disagreed over 300 times but maintained respect and friendship. Their debates, rooted in mutual care, continue to guide Jewish life today. In contrast, we examined Korach, who challenged Moses not to improve the community, but to serve his own ambition, a cautionary tale that still very much resonates.
The current environment often has me concerned about how division echoes within our communities. Over the past year, many have worked tirelessly to prevent those cracks from widening, striving to keep us connected even amid pain and disagreement. There were moments when my hope and optimism were tested, but through leading Holy Disagreements, I found a renewed sense of purpose. I was reminded that healing and resilience can in fact be found through difficult conversations – but only when we approach the experience interested in learning about other perspectives instead of only wanting to change someone’s mind. The experience reiterated that the only way to work through disagreement is by continuing to show up for one another – in conversation and in community. When we take the time to learn each other’s stories and understand each other’s “whys,” we take a step forward in expanding the circle of belonging for all.
As we move past the High Holidays, may our JCC community be blessed with the courage to create spaces that are not only safe, but brave – where honesty and curiosity walk hand in hand and where disagreement becomes an opening rather than a wall. May we view one another with dignity and potential (Tzelem Elohim) and approach each interaction with a spirit of authentic inquiry (D’rash). And may we unite – not in uniformity but in purpose – to use dialogue in building a stronger future for all.
Wishing you and your families a Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Hindy
United Against Hate Week | Oct 19–25, 2025
Click here for events across Pittsburgh, including the Love Anyway Feast & United in Song.
